The future is here, and his name is Jerzy Orchard


While not as visually entertaining as another annual teen hockey tradition, the WHL Bantam Draft is nonetheless becoming a depressingly hilarious spectacle.

While parents, friends and families celebrate a loved ones’ next step on the path to the NHL, the rest of us can laugh at just how fuckin’ awful their names are.

They all sound like characters from Star Wars. Deegan, Ryker, Tyus, Edge (EDGE!)…these are the kids born just months before or after 9/11.

Their parents were likely born in the mid-to-late 70s. If I had to guess, I’d say a lot of nurses married to former AJHL pluggers turned car salesmen bore these kids.

Take a look at the full list over at Deadspin and be thankful you were born in the 80s.


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